life as he sees it: Archive

i am choosing to not eat tonight rather then going to McDonald’s this will be hard without you here to cook, thank you for the meals you made for me

Mar 26th

When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone

Mar 12th

1 note

These embers burn a endless fire in the wake of your absence

Feb 27th

For just the slightest of moments today I felt like there might still be a spark in my soul, that my heart yet beat once more. It was like seeing a picture whole again after it was torn to shreds as if in that one little moment the whole universe stopped and all that was there was the warmth of the sun shinning down on me. It was beautiful and more then anything I wish you were there to witness...

Feb 19th

there is no rest for the wicked

nor is there comfort in the night, no clarity in the stillness, no inspiring dreams of what was or might come to be, there is guilt, damnation, condemnation, regret, loneliness but the worse is when i close my eyes and see their faces and all at once it becomes clear as nights sky this is my reality. we humans toss our fate like a pair of dice, we dont know what will come up but we were the ones...

Jan 21st

Jan 19th

Dec 2nd

cold truth

I really dont care if you say people like me arent needed, but what is “like me” lets describe me which you hate so much. I fight for capitalistic america, i am solider, i am fighter. i do things which 99% of our population is to scared to do, i get shot at and shoot back, i fight to protect what i love, what is it that i love? is it a place, is it a certain person, no i dont think...

Sep 29th

another day

just another day that i wake up to bombs going off, just another day i wake up to get shot at, just another day i spend in hell, just another day where people like arent needed in this world. just another day where i hold on to hope

Sep 29th

day 1

today is the first day on my journey into hell

Aug 8th

shattered hope

its sad to think about how much hope i had for the future just a few months ago

Aug 2nd

For the record

i want to leave evidence that i lived, and that the life that i lived had meaning, that the love that loved would be something people wish for years from now, that the war that i fought had meaning, that the lives that i saved would later go on to make the world a better place. the thoughts and opinions i shared would have helped another make a better choice. that i showed others the great light...

Jul 3rd

All good things must come to a end

the time of the airman leaders are over, the time of the airman is now

Oct 6th

The truth is I simply can’t stand you right now

Jul 4th

Peace out Oklahoma!

Apr 2nd

A new life begins very soon.

forthesakeofstars: It better, or else I will kick it’s butt I wonder if it likes me.

Mar 4th

At this moment in time

It’s the longest I have ever gone without talking to you, I have one finger on the trigger of the telephone ready to answer but your not calling

Feb 25th

52 days

That’s all the time I have left here, I wish I could spend every single last one of them with you, I just wish you could say the same

Feb 21st

All day long

Feb 14th

And the wheels on the bus go round and round,

Feb 14th

And I wondered what it would be Like to be invisable, now I know

Feb 13th

Sorry

I had closed my eyes just for a second, and within that second I missed my chance to see you, I will make it up to you

Feb 10th

I wish you coulda spent the day with me

Dec 31st

I wish you coulda spent the day with me

Dec 31st

You have a funny way of showing it

Dec 22nd

I wish i could just sneak in right

Dec 14th

today

today has been by one of the worst days of my life i feel like complete shit and honestly want to just black it all out and pretend it didnt exsist

Nov 27th

I honestly don’t know how I am gonna make it through today

Nov 26th

It was good seeing you, it’s crazy but just being near you is enough to calm my heart down I miss that feeling

Nov 24th

Tonight was actually really good in a world full of fake people it was really good to reconnect with a old friend who I hadn’t been able to have a long talk like we use to I missed it

Nov 14th

Good morning

I really hope this is a good day I need it

Nov 14th

Why do I delight In others pain

Nov 13th

90 minutes

For 90 minutes tonight I am gonna feel pain, for 90 minutes I am gonna feel the alive again, for 90 minutes I won’t think of anything else, not even you, for 90 minutes I am gonna push this feeble heart of mine to the limit without the meds to slow it Down, for 90 minutes I will feel the burn in my chest and enjoy every moment of the agony, For a life that has been hard to feel anything...

Nov 10th

love sysko

if i cant sleep will you sleep will you dream for me? if i cant stand will you fall with me? be brave love stay strong like the shore and the sea my ocean and me just trust me

Nov 6th

It days like these

That will help me pull through

Nov 4th

The past 12 hours

Have been pretty amazing I didn’t want the sun to come up, I wish I could just sleep the rest of this day away cause I know it can’t get any better then this

Nov 3rd

I miss

The Jack Johnson burrito I want one right about now

Nov 2nd

Today is a new day

And I will treat it as such

Nov 1st

this could not describe it better

i want to sing every lyric of this to you, every word fits perfectly Someone is waiting someone who understands exactly how you feel exactly how you feel.. someone is dreaming someone is hoping just that this will be the day that this will be the day.. that you take your eyes off the ground out of the blue and see that someone is looking right back at you.. maybe that someone’s me maybe...

Oct 30th

Wouldn’t it be easier for you to use a gun?

Oct 30th

Where are you

Are you here

Oct 29th

I envey you

You can close your eyes and shut out the world, I lay here tourmented by my mind and the things that has happened, but it does give me time to think, and I think you will have a good morning!

Oct 28th

I can't believe this

I have never been happier then i was last night or this morning, and just like that life finds a way to fuck things up, I am so fucking scared to be happy cause as soon as i stop to think wow this is wonderful, shit always happens, is it so wrong for me to just be happy

Oct 28th

Thomas eddison

Would not be proud of me

Oct 25th

A eye opening event

Tonight I was the friend, tonight I got to see from a 3rd person perspective, it was so unreal, looking back at when it was happening to me, I was so angry and confused and pissed off and hurt, so hurt. But seeing as I saw it tonight I understand how you felt how you might feel now, and for the first time I think I can forgive you, you were right I didn’t understand and I didn’t look...

Oct 22nd

I wasn't expecting much

But this is worse then I thought

Oct 19th

I wish I was still enough for you

Oct 17th

Oct 13th

I wish

That my heart didn’t feel Like it was crippled, that I could handle this, that my hands would shake so bad, like it didn’t feel like my blood was boiling, that I could let it go, that it didn’t mean so much to me, that I could never think about it again, that I felt complete again I wish

Oct 12th